Wednesday 2 December 2009

Comedy: The Phantom Menace... according to French and Saunders

It is of much debate, but the Phantom Menace by many is regarded as maybe the weaker of the six Star Wars Movies. Still... could have been worse.





George Lucas probably regrets deeply not hiring Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders for leading roles in the Star Wars saga. Or maybe not. He's certainly not on record denying it anyway.



Tuesday 1 December 2009

Clone Wars: Season 1 - Episode 14, Defenders of the Peace



Star Wars The Clone Wars: Season 1 - Episode 14, Defenders of the Peace continues directly and concludes the events from Episode 13, Jedi Crash. The episode has the Moral, "When surrounded by War, one must eventually choose a side."

Republic forces in retreat! While rescuing General Aayla Secura from certain defeat, Anakin Skywalker has been seriously injured. After a narrow escape, our heroes crash landed on the remote world of Maridun. Stranded and with no way to contact the Republic, the Jedi receive medical aid from the peaceful Lurmen colonists. But even on this tiny planet, the war threatens to follow the Jedi.

Clones Rex, Bly and the Jedi Anakin Skywalker, Aayla Secura and Ahsoka Tano are stranded on Maridun when to make matter worse, Captain Rex spots a Droid Drop ship in the gloomy skies. A Separatist ship is headed to their location. "What menace have you brought to our village now Jedi?" asks the Lurmen Clan elder, Tee Watt Kaa. Ahsoka explains that the Separatists do not even know they are here and would have arrived anyway. The Lurmen are peaceful pacifists and have no intention of fighting. The Jedi decide then, they must go into hiding and distance themselves from the village.

The Droid Drop-Ship lands. An army of droids depart led by General Lok Durd, an overweight male Neimoidian and weapons developer. He tells the Lurmen they are now under the protection of the Separatist Alliance. They have very little choice in the matter. As the Jedi leave unnoticed, the droids ransack the village. Tee Watt Kaa says they will offer no resistance, they are not interested in conflict. Holding this peaceful philosophy is starting to become a bit of a strain for the younger Lurmen.

The Jedi and two Clones are hiding in the tall grass plains safely away from the village. They decide they need to get off world as soon as possible. Unfortunately, the only ships on the planet are owned by the Separatists.

Suddenly a probe droid jumps out! Immediately jamming its signal frequency, they have to stop it before the device can report their proximity. They make chase, but Anakin, still poorly from his injuries is unable to keep pace. Eventually Secura splices it in two as it flees in another direction from Ahsoka Tano. The group climb a large tree to get a better vantage point to view the extent of the Separatist's forces. Anakin spots an available shuttle if they can get to it, but there are serious numbers of Battle Droids everywhere. This is a large and resourceful army with a number of tanks at their disposable as well as a new terrible weapon.

The Separatist's new weapon is the Defoliator, design by General Lok Durd himself and is capable of catastrophic destruction. This weapon can destroy all organic matter, but leave any machines unharmed.

Lok Durd contacts Count Dooku over Holo-transmission. The planet Maridun was just a planet to test the Defoliator. Dooku witnesses it's first test... which is impressive. A shell fires high into the sky and bursts into a wall of destructive flame on landing. All vegetation and life in its range-path is wiped out. Dooku is impressed, but he wants it tested against living creatures. This is no problem for Lok Durd.He particularly chose this planet because it is inhabited. The Lurmen would make excellent test subjects.

Having also witnessed the destruction from a safe high vantage point, the Jedi suspect the Separatists are now moving to the Lurmen Village for further testing. They have to do something!

At night, the Jedi close in on the Separatist base. Anakin deftly takes out the sentry droids as Secura and Ahsoka stealthily scale the wall and enter. Basic Battle Droids are no match for Jedi. Secura and Ahsoka destroy the patrolling Battle Droids and let Anakin and the clones into the structure. The group make short work of the mechanical security and make off with not only the shuttle, but also a set of handy Shield Generators.

Watt Too and some of the younger Lurmen have been keeping a watch on the Separatist's movements and fear an imminent attack on the village. The Elder Tee Watt Kaa strongly disagrees. He is a very stubborn character and believes this is not their war to fight. If they do so, then they are no better than the Separatists.

The Jedi and Clones land the stolen shuttle at the Lurmen village. They tell the Lurmen, they don't care if they're in the war or not, they have to get them to safety. The stubborn Tee Watt Kaa is angry, he had told them not to return! Ahsoka tells them of the new weapon and that their village will be burned to a crisp. "Is this what you really want?" she asks them. Tee Watt Kaa is still steadfast in his rigid views, but it's possible these views are now solely his own.

General Lok Durd and the droids approach the village in Separatist tanks. The General believes he will own a promotion for this... he sure does like the sound of his own voice! He spots the Jedi and can't believe it. What are they doing here? He immediately orders the firing of the Defoliator!

In response, the Jedi activate the stolen Shield Generators.

The Defoliator fires causing the expected destructive fire wave to race along the ground. It crashes against the Shield and rushes over it like a sea of hellish death. Only now do the Lurmen see the full reality of it. The Village has survived the first strike unscratched.

Lok Durd orders a charge. Tanks move in as does the first squad of battle droids. The Jedi step outside the shield, risking their lives to protect the Lurmen village. The Lurmen watch as the Jedi go all out in battle against seemingly overwhelming odds. They destroy the first squad only for Lok Durd to order two others to attack.

A seemingly recovered Anakin advances, but the clones are driven back behind the shield. Droids fiercely break the defensive line and destroy all the Shield generators! The shield ultimately fails and cuts out to nothing. The village is defenceless! Despite Tee Watt Kaa's strong pacifistic philosophy, the Lurmen decide they must do something! They add their weight to the battle against the droids.

The Shield down, General Lok Durd orders the Defoliator to be fired again. This blast will finish the job. With lightning speed, Anakin Skywalker appears. He carves up the weapon and the firing shell falls harmlessly to the ground. Conforming to Neimoidian stereotype, Lok Durd decides to run for it. Before achieving any real distance however, Anakin has him suspended in mid-air with the force. "There goes my promotion," he comments miserably.

The droids destroyed, the Lurmen Village has been saved. The Clan Elder Tee Watt Kaa comments, "Perhaps we do owe you our thanks, but I still wonder at what cost."