Comedy: The Phantom Menace... according to French and Saunders

It is of much debate, but the Phantom Menace by many is regarded as maybe the weaker of the six Star Wars Movies. Still... could have been worse.





George Lucas probably regrets deeply not hiring Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders for leading roles in the Star Wars saga. Or maybe not. He's certainly not on record denying it anyway.

Clone Wars: Season 1 - Episode 14, Defenders of the Peace

Star Wars The Clone Wars: Season 1 - Episode 14, Defenders of the Peace continues directly and concludes the events from Episode 13, Jedi Crash. The episode has the Moral, "When surrounded by War, one must eventually choose a side."

Republic forces in retreat! While rescuing General Aayla Secura from certain defeat, Anakin Skywalker has been seriously injured. After a narrow escape, our heroes crash landed on the remote world of Maridun. Stranded and with no way to contact the Republic, the Jedi receive medical aid from the peaceful Lurmen colonists. But even on this tiny planet, the war threatens to follow the Jedi.

Clones Rex, Bly and the Jedi Anakin Skywalker, Aayla Secura and Ahsoka Tano are stranded on Maridun when to make matter worse, Captain Rex spots a Droid Drop ship in the gloomy skies. A Separatist ship is headed to their location. "What menace have you brought to our village now Jedi?" asks the Lurmen Clan elder, Tee Watt Kaa. Ahsoka explains that the Separatists do not even know they are here and would have arrived anyway. The Lurmen are peaceful pacifists and have no intention of fighting. The Jedi decide then, they must go into hiding and distance themselves from the village.

The Droid Drop-Ship lands. An army of droids depart led by General Lok Durd, an overweight male Neimoidian and weapons developer. He tells the Lurmen they are now under the protection of the Separatist Alliance. They have very little choice in the matter. As the Jedi leave unnoticed, the droids ransack the village. Tee Watt Kaa says they will offer no resistance, they are not interested in conflict. Holding this peaceful philosophy is starting to become a bit of a strain for the younger Lurmen.

The Jedi and two Clones are hiding in the tall grass plains safely away from the village. They decide they need to get off world as soon as possible. Unfortunately, the only ships on the planet are owned by the Separatists.

Suddenly a probe droid jumps out! Immediately jamming its signal frequency, they have to stop it before the device can report their proximity. They make chase, but Anakin, still poorly from his injuries is unable to keep pace. Eventually Secura splices it in two as it flees in another direction from Ahsoka Tano. The group climb a large tree to get a better vantage point to view the extent of the Separatist's forces. Anakin spots an available shuttle if they can get to it, but there are serious numbers of Battle Droids everywhere. This is a large and resourceful army with a number of tanks at their disposable as well as a new terrible weapon.

The Separatist's new weapon is the Defoliator, design by General Lok Durd himself and is capable of catastrophic destruction. This weapon can destroy all organic matter, but leave any machines unharmed.

Lok Durd contacts Count Dooku over Holo-transmission. The planet Maridun was just a planet to test the Defoliator. Dooku witnesses it's first test... which is impressive. A shell fires high into the sky and bursts into a wall of destructive flame on landing. All vegetation and life in its range-path is wiped out. Dooku is impressed, but he wants it tested against living creatures. This is no problem for Lok Durd.He particularly chose this planet because it is inhabited. The Lurmen would make excellent test subjects.

Having also witnessed the destruction from a safe high vantage point, the Jedi suspect the Separatists are now moving to the Lurmen Village for further testing. They have to do something!

At night, the Jedi close in on the Separatist base. Anakin deftly takes out the sentry droids as Secura and Ahsoka stealthily scale the wall and enter. Basic Battle Droids are no match for Jedi. Secura and Ahsoka destroy the patrolling Battle Droids and let Anakin and the clones into the structure. The group make short work of the mechanical security and make off with not only the shuttle, but also a set of handy Shield Generators.

Watt Too and some of the younger Lurmen have been keeping a watch on the Separatist's movements and fear an imminent attack on the village. The Elder Tee Watt Kaa strongly disagrees. He is a very stubborn character and believes this is not their war to fight. If they do so, then they are no better than the Separatists.

The Jedi and Clones land the stolen shuttle at the Lurmen village. They tell the Lurmen, they don't care if they're in the war or not, they have to get them to safety. The stubborn Tee Watt Kaa is angry, he had told them not to return! Ahsoka tells them of the new weapon and that their village will be burned to a crisp. "Is this what you really want?" she asks them. Tee Watt Kaa is still steadfast in his rigid views, but it's possible these views are now solely his own.

General Lok Durd and the droids approach the village in Separatist tanks. The General believes he will own a promotion for this... he sure does like the sound of his own voice! He spots the Jedi and can't believe it. What are they doing here? He immediately orders the firing of the Defoliator!

In response, the Jedi activate the stolen Shield Generators.

The Defoliator fires causing the expected destructive fire wave to race along the ground. It crashes against the Shield and rushes over it like a sea of hellish death. Only now do the Lurmen see the full reality of it. The Village has survived the first strike unscratched.

Lok Durd orders a charge. Tanks move in as does the first squad of battle droids. The Jedi step outside the shield, risking their lives to protect the Lurmen village. The Lurmen watch as the Jedi go all out in battle against seemingly overwhelming odds. They destroy the first squad only for Lok Durd to order two others to attack.

A seemingly recovered Anakin advances, but the clones are driven back behind the shield. Droids fiercely break the defensive line and destroy all the Shield generators! The shield ultimately fails and cuts out to nothing. The village is defenceless! Despite Tee Watt Kaa's strong pacifistic philosophy, the Lurmen decide they must do something! They add their weight to the battle against the droids.

The Shield down, General Lok Durd orders the Defoliator to be fired again. This blast will finish the job. With lightning speed, Anakin Skywalker appears. He carves up the weapon and the firing shell falls harmlessly to the ground. Conforming to Neimoidian stereotype, Lok Durd decides to run for it. Before achieving any real distance however, Anakin has him suspended in mid-air with the force. "There goes my promotion," he comments miserably.

The droids destroyed, the Lurmen Village has been saved. The Clan Elder Tee Watt Kaa comments, "Perhaps we do owe you our thanks, but I still wonder at what cost."

Star Wars Games: The Force Unleashed - Trailers

Here are the trailers for the the video game, The Force Unleashed. In was released near the end of 2008 on PS2, PS3, Wii, XBox360, iphone, N-gage, Nintendo DS, PC and the PSP.



The story in the game is set between the events of Revenge of the Sith and A New Hope.



In this adventure you play the role of Darth Vader's secret apprentice known as Starkiller. A fun third-person action game, filled with glorious graphics and magnificent sounds. However, the apprentice Starkiller is way way to powerful in the force to ever think this story could fit neatly into the Star Wars timeline. Rather ridiculous in fact. But anyway, if you ignore this, an impressive game.

Star Wars Creatures: Mastif Phalone

The Mastif Phalone is an odd looking species that was first revealed to the Star Wars Universe in the Clone Wars episode, Jedi Crash.

The non-sentient creature originates from the planet Maridun where it likes to hide in the tall grasses. Around two metres in length, Mastifs like the security of hunting in groups, but are easily startled into retreat if they believe their prey is too powerful. In the incident with the Jedi, Aaayla Secura and Ahsoka Tano, one was scared off by blaster fire.

They typically have grey skin and brown feathers, but are incapable of flight. The beast should not be underestimated. They have a muscular build with large sharp talons enabling them to make swift kills. Their head rather resembles that of a Turkey and they patrol their environment on four legs. You could perhaps compare them to a sort of wingless griffin.

In summary, a strange beast that likes to creep up on its prey with the aid of tall vegetation.

Clone Wars: Season 1 - Episode 13, Jedi Crash

The Clone Wars - Episode 13, Jedi Crash has the Moral, "Greed and fear of loss are the roots that lead to the tree of evil".

The Republic fleet is on the defensive and pushed to the brink. As war rages in the most contested Outer Rim Territories, chaos and fear mount as the Separatist army wages an epic battle against heavily outnumbered Republic Ships in the far reaches of the Quell system. Anakin Skywalker and his Padawan Ahsoka, race across the galaxy to aid the Jedi Knight Aayla Secura who is in the midst of a fight for her life as the sinister droid army closes in.

Jedi Knight Aayla Secura's Republic Warship is in trouble within the upper atmosphere of Quell. It is being intensely pummeled by Droid ships and has just lost its shields. Looking to take prisoners Super Battle-Droids bridge the gap to the ailing warship and board.

The rescue party arrive in the form of a Second Republic Warship with Anakin Skywalker, Ahsoka and Admiral Yularen aboard. The ship is called The Resolute. They see Secura's ship under attack from the individual Super Battle Droids and immediately launch Gun-Ships to take them on.

During the battle, Anakin makes it to Secura's ship by hitching a lift on a Super whilst Ahsoka crashes a Gun-Ship through a gaping hole in the Warship's hull. She has a number of Clone Troops with her including Captain Rex. The ship is in flames and cannot survive much longer.

Battling their way through the crippled ship, Anakin, Ahsoka and the Clones meet up with Secura. They have to escape as quickly as possible as the vessel cannot possibly hold out much longer before exploding or starting to break up. A Republic Cruiser waits in the lower docking bay to take them away. Too late! Skywalker sees an explosion racing through the corridor toward them. He force-pushes his companions to safety through the air-lock, but is caught in its wake. Ahsoka opens the air-lock door and drags Anakin's unconscious body back to the waiting cruiser.

As they launch toward Admiral Yularen's Republic Warship to dock, Anakin lies in a critical condition being tended by a Medical Droid. Their escape cruiser takes a bad hit triggering the Hyperspace systems! Ahsoka and the Clones are unable to shut it down making any docking with Yularen's waiting ship now impossible. They vanish from the battlefield as the craft blasts into hyperspace away. Desperate to find them Yularen orders, "Plot every course along their last known trajectory!".

More bad news, the Republic Cruiser's navigation system is completely fried. Unable to alter course, they are headed right toward a star! Secura orders the clones to reset the Navigational Computer which means temporarily shutting the ship's power including Anakin's life-support. She says it's a risk that they have to take.

With the ship's systems successfully reset, they emerge from hyperspace dangerously close to the Star! Taking evasive action, they manage to swoop around it, but have taken critical damage. Unable to do much else, they crash land on a nearby habitable planet. Fortunately every one survives the impact.

One of the Clones finds evidence they are not alone on the planet, a stone tablet with a depiction of a tree etched on to it. Ahsoka doesn't want to leave her injured Master, but Secura says she must. It is important they find the people who live on the world in order to secure help. Captain Rex will guard Anakin while they are away in the makeshift camp they've erected.

In their search for intelligent life, the group are almost hit by some large falling seed type pods. There is a trail of them which they decide to follow.

Back at the camp, Captain Rex is guarding Anakin when he hears some movement in the bushes. Anakin awakes as Rex is attacked by a fierce birdlike creature. It is a Mastif Phalone! After a brief struggle, the beast is scared away by Blaster fire.

Secura's group are attacked by two of the Mastifs! Before they are scared off, three members of the Clones are killed. Secura decides it is unsafe out there and tells them they have to keep moving. Soldiering on, they eventually arrive at a large field of Pods & small gnome-monkey like aliens called the Lurmen. For some strange reason they have Irish accents, but this is Star Wars so anything goes!

Jedi Knight Aayla Secura explains to the Lurmen that they need their help, but the clan elder, Tee Watt Kaa, is not interested in their wars. He has very strong views on the subject. The Lurmen colonized the system to find solace from the wretched wars, they came there to find peace. Tee Watt Kaa tells them to leave before they destroy what small amount of peace is left in the galaxy. On hearing of Anakin SkyWalker's injuries however, they at least agree to send medical help in the form of their healer and Tee Watt Kaa's son, Wag Too. Uneasy, Tee Watt Kaa requests that one of the Jedi remain as insurance. This is Secura.

At the Camp, Anakin is in a bad way. Sensing danger, he struggles to his feet. He alerts Captain Rex and they turn round to see two of the vicious Mastifs headed in their direction!

Fortunately this is when Ahsoka, the Clone Bly and Wat Too arrive. The native Wat Too is an expert at dealing with these creatures. Using a rope he acrobatically ties them up with the help of the others. They take the injured Anakin on a streatcher back to the Lurmen's village where he is treated with healing Pod oil. He is told by Wat Too that the oil will aid the natural healing process.

Pleased that Master Anakin is now safe from harm Ahsoka comments that she is glad the whole ordeal is over. Jedi Secura reminds the young Padawan that they still have to find a way off the planet. Ahsoka believes that Admiral Yularen and the Republic Fleet will be looking for them.

Games: Lego Star Wars, the Complete Saga

You sure can't beat Star Wars lego! Here is the brief trailer that was produced for Lego Star Wars, the Complete Saga released by LucasArts. The game was released in November 2007.



Hours of fun are to be had with this cool game as you battle your way using various characters through the explosive events of all 6 of the Star Wars Movies.

NXMNHASJJ2SW

Clone Wars: Season 1 - Episode 12, The Gungan General

The Clone Wars: Season 1 - Episode 12, The Gungan General sees Representative Jar Jar Binks in the thick of things and is the conclusion to Episode 11 - Dooku Captured. The episode has the Moral, "Fail with honor rather than succeed with fraud".

Dooku held for ransom! After escaping capture from Jedi Knights Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi, the villainous Count Dooku fell into the clutches of Pirates led by bridged Hondo Ohnaka. Eager to get custody of Dooku, the Republic agreed to pay Hondo a hefty sum in exchange for the Sith Lord. But Anakin and Obi-Wan had not counted on the treacherous cunning of Ohnaka and his band.

The episode starts with Anakin and Obi-Wan waking up in a Pirate holding Cell. Despite their evasive actions to prevent it, it appears they were drugged at the previous nights banquet after all. To make matters even worse, the pair are shackled to the evil Count Dooku.

Ohnaka's plan is once he receives the Republic ransom for the Sith, he will then set up another ransom for the Jedi. His colleague, Turk, thinks he has a better way to make money, but goes along with Ohnaka or... so it seems.

The Republic arrive in Florrum air space in the form of Senator Kharrus from Malastare, Representative Jar Jar Binks and an attachment of Clone Troopers led by Commander Stone. They are here to exchange Count Dooku for the ransom of narcotic spice.

Pirate Turk has other ideas and decides to double-cross the leader Ohnaka and take the spice for himself. He orders some of his trusted group to intercept the Republic ship. They do so and shoot it down, forcing a crash-landing. Senator Kharrus is killed in the crash, effectively leaving Jar Jar as the highest ranking one amongst them.

Turk is desperate to capture the Spice. On hearing that there are survivors of the Republic ship, he and his small gang, decide to take Speederbikes to the crash site and eliminate them.

Meanwhile, Count Dooku, Anakin Skywalker and Obi-wan Kenobi have been trying to escape their cell. The first attempt is engineered by Dooku when, using the force, he takes a knife and springs the door locking mechanism. They are quickly recaptured when the pirate's pet Kowakian monkey-lizard raises the alarm. The second attempt, Kenobi uses his favoured Jedi mind trick to control the Weequay guard into letting them escape unchallenged. Unfortunately this second effort is again unsuccessful and almost gets them killed when Anakin attempts to vault a high wall to the outside. Ohnaka warns them not to complicate things by breaking out again.

At the Republic crash site, a clone troop is trying to repair the ship's homing beacon to aid in a possible rescue. The planet is dangerous. Numerous obnoxious geysers are periodically spouting plumes of corrosive acid. Jar Jar Binks is now technically in charge and the mission objective is in serious jeopardy. With no ship, they will have no way of safely holding onto Count Dooku if any exchange is made.

Binks spots Turk's renegade Pirate group approaching on Speederbikes. Any hopes they are here to provide an exchange for Dooku are quickly dashed when the advancing Pirates open fire on them! Outgunned, the clones form a defensive circle, before retreating into a Geyser crator. As soon as it goes off however, they will be completely fried by acid! Sensing it may be about to erupt very soon, they decide to leave and head back to the downed shuttle. The Pirates are nowhere to be seen. They have made off with the Spice and jointly towed it away. Bink has an idea how they can catch up with them.

If you remember the Kwazel Maw from the episode Bombad Jedi you will be aware that Jar Jar Binks always seems to have a way with dumb animals. He and the Clones hitch a ride on some fat looking hog beasts native to the harsh planet. Using these, they are able to catch the Pirate Speeders and engage them in a fierce fire fight. Some of the lasers fired set off a number of acid geysers, taking out a percentage of the bikers. A few get away including the traitor Turk, but Binks and the clones retake the Spice ransom.

The Clone Troopers and Jar Jar make their way toward the Pirate Base by following a trail of power-lines.

Turk meets with Hondo Ohnaka after his failed attempt to grab the spice for himself. He lies that the Republic had set a trap and a huge army was waiting for him. Ohnaka believes him. He agrees to let Turk go back against them with their tanks while he himself will deal with the troublesome Jedi.

Dooku, Kenobi and Skywalker are back in their Cell. Weequay guards arrive and lead the Jedi to the waiting Ohnaka. The Count is left alone with a single weequay on guard.

On their way to the Pirate base, Jar Jar is the first to notice the Pirate tanks coming their way. The Clone, Commander Stone, instructs Binks to go and negotiate with them... maybe he remembers how Binks fared against the Droid Army tanks on Naboo seen in The Phantom Menace. "He's probably going to get himself killed," comments a Clone Troop. Commander Stone answers, "Don't worry, he's smarter than he looks"... yes, well, that isn't exactly hard is it?

Ohnaka has the Jedi suspended on an electrical torture device in the Main Hall. Unaware of Turk's treachery, he feels betrayed by the Republic. He tells Anakin and Obi-Wan that the Republic sent a large army. Anakin doesn't think this can be right, but Ohnaka is in no mood to discuss things any further. He activates the torture device and force-like lightning is sent painfully through the Jedi's suspended bodies.

As maybe a little predicted, Jar Jar's discussion with the Tank Commander has led to a crazy and bizarre cascade of slap-stick accidents. Two tanks have collided causing multiple explosions and one has crashed into the Power-line cutting off all the Pirate Base's power. The Base is powerless. Shocked and battered, the Clone Troops defeat the remaining Tanks.

Without power, the torture device holding the Jedi is now useless. Anakin and Obi-Wan rapidly escape, force-grab their lightsabres from the Kowakian monkey-lizard and take the surprised Hondo Ohnaka hostage before he has a chance to move.

Dooku has also taken advantage of the Power-Cut to escape from his cell and kill the guard outside. He plans to escape before the Jedi and Republic can get hold of him.

Sensing things are going badly, the Pirate Traitor Turk also decides to leave. He doesn't get the chance. An arriving Count Dooku force chokes him several feet off the ground. He falls down dead, but not before he's also inadvertently shot his number two thanks to Dooku's manipulation. Dooku takes Turk's ship and escapes the Republic's grasp.

Binks arrives with the captured tanks to joig Anakin and Kenobi and from here their escape is easy. They release Ohnaka as taking hostages or seeking revenge is not the Jedi way. Ohnaka seems genuinely impressed by this show of honour. Kenobi warns him, Dooku does not share this kind of honour and now knows what he lives.

Comedy: YouTube Animation - Star Wars, The Elevator

Type the words Star Wars into a YouTube search and it's very unlikely you'll receive zero matches. If you do, then something has gone very seriously wrong.

There are lots of cool fan-based creations to be found. Here is one of the better ones. An animation by the Youtube user, obibrickkenobi. Going up, it's Star Wars, The Elevator.



Elevators aren't designed well for one particular Star Wars species. Can you guess which one? :oP

Star Wars Creatures: Gundark

Han Solo once remarked of Luke Skywalker in The Empire Strikes Back, "You look strong enough to pull the ears off a Gundark". A nice comment... maybe. What the hell is a Gundark anyway? Well... I've perhaps given it away by putting that big red Gundark picture at the top of this Blog entry. Ah, so that's a Gundark. A charming looking fellow, I think you'll agree.

Gundarks are semi-sentient beings thought to originate from the rocky planet of Vanqor. Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi ran into one in the Clone Wars Season 1 Episode, Dooku Captured.

They are thought to be one of the most vicious and strong creatures in the galaxy. Judging by the huge competition in the Star Wars universe, that is a pretty impressive feat.

There are many different species, but most tend to have either short grey or brown fur, are between 1 and 1.5 metres tall and have four powerful arms. The ears of a fully developed adult are about as wide as its head, which led to the Han Solo phrase. Curiously, Gundarks are born with just two arms with a second pair developing in adolescence.

Gundarks tend to live in tribes and are found on many planets including Naboo and Alaris Prime. It is thought that they originated on Vanqor and were transported to other worlds by Galactic Republic anti-slavers and perhaps unlawful individuals wishing to exploit their savage fighting skills in expensive paid-for-ticket arenas.

Comedy: Star Wars? No. Grocery Store Wars !!!

If you're like me, you've probably always wondered what Star Wars would have been like if all the characters had been played by vegetables. Some may argue that Jar Jar Binks was actually played by a vegetable, but this is yet to be conclusively proved... although I wouldn't be surprised.

Well here it is then... Grocery Store Wars !!! A few years old, so many of you may have already seen it, but anyway... shear brilliance!



A word of seriousness for a second. Be wary of the dark side of the farm. Ok, not really that serious, but with this particular blog entry, I'm severely struggling.

Clone Wars: Season 1 - Episode 11, Dooku Captured

The Clone Wars: Season 1 - Episode 11, Dooku Captured, introduces us to Ohnaka's Pirate Gang. The episode has the moral, "The winding path to peace is always a worthy one regardless of how long it takes".

Manhunt! After a long and perilous search, the Jedi finally track down Separatist leader, Count Dooku. During a heroic attempt to capture the Count, Anakin Skywalker has gone missing. Having lost contact with Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi head towards his friends last known location, a lone Separatist Frigate in the far reaches of the Outer Rim.

Kenobi secretly boards the Separatist Frigate and moves stealthily through the ship looking for any trace of Anakin. He finds and releases him from his holding cell. It is revealed that Anakin's capture was their deliberate plan in order to capture the Count.

All seems to be going very easily when the pair walk in on Dooku who is sitting on the floor of his cabin in meditation. As a Republic Warship starts firing upon Dooku's ship, Anakin orders his immediate surrender. Dooku escapes downward through a trap door tunnel. Making chase, Anakin jumps down the tunnel, determined to stop the Count's escape. Realising he is being followed, Dooku fires force lightning back at his pursuer. The Jedi blocks it with his sabre, shields his face from the bright light and in doing so loses which way his prey went at a critical junction.

Meanwhile Obi-Wan Kenobi has raced to the ship's hangar. He sees Dooku leave in his Solar Sailor with a number of Vulture Droid Fighters either side. The Jedi takes a remaining ship and lifts off to make chase, a rapidly arriving Anakin just makes it aboard in time.

The Jedi pairing manage to shoot Dooku's ship down and the burning craft ditches on some barren moon. Unfortunately, in trying to eliminate the accompanying Vulture Fighters, their ship also takes critical damage and they are forced to crash-land on the very same moon as the Sith Lord.

On the rocky moon, Anakin and Kenobi find Dooku's damaged ship already abandoned. Skywalker lightsabres its exterior Homing Beacon. Determined to bring the Count to justice, the Jedi further explore the terrain. They enter some caves. Kenobi is a little uneasy, he senses many lifeforms present. It's a Trap! Dooku is hiding, waiting for them. Using the force, he brings down a rock slide at their location. He takes Anakin's dropped lightsabre, calmly leaves the cave and seals the entrance with another force-induced rock slide.

Dooku heads back to his wrecked Solar Sailor to see a band of Weequay Pirates looting it. They are Ohnaka's Pirate Gang led by Hondo Ohnaka.

Anakin and Kenobi have thankfully survived the rock slide, but Kenobi's lightsabre has been critically damaged. They will not be able to use it to cut out an escape. To make matters worse, they are suddenly attacked by a Gundark! Anakin distracts the creature whilst Kenobi tries to repair his sabre, but to no avail. Eventually they knock it unconscious by force pushing large boulders into its large body.

Back at the downed Solar Sailor, Dooku's talks with the Pirates are not going well. The leader Ohnaka, senses that the Count must be worth quite a high ransom to the Republic. The Pirates takes him to their home base at Florrum. In the interim, light-fingers have also stolen his lightsabres from him. Dooku has been captured.

In trying to break a way out from the sealed cave, Anakin and Kenobi inadvertently release a pocket of poisonous gas. It looks like they are in serious trouble until the entrance is blow open by the familiar sight of Ahsoka and a group of Clone Troopers.

The Weequay Pirates transmit a Holo-message to Palpatine and the Jedi concerning Dooku. "If you want the Sith Lord, the ransom will be a million credits!". Padme answers, they will send two Jedi to confirm the prisoner actually is Dooku before sending the ransom money. Of course, Skywalker and Kenobi are near the Pirate planet Florrum, so they send them. As part of the arrangement, the pair are instructed to go there unarmed. Kenobi is a little hesitant about meeting a band of unlawful pirates he doesn't even know without a weapon. "Well, this should be fun," he quips.

Taking the Twilight, they land on Florrum. On departing the ship, the Weequays immediately scan them for any hidden weapons. Seeing that the visitors have none, they are escorted to Honda Ohnaka at a rowdy Pirate tavern.

Kenobi comments, "Congratulations on your capture of Count Dooku, very impressive". Ohnaka answers,"Even Sith Lords are no match for my warriors". Very bold words.

All they want to do is confirm that the Pirate are indeed holding Dooku then to leave as quickly as possible. Something doesn't feel quite right. They are escorted to a room and instantly recognise Count Dooku suspended helpless in bonds.

Happy of Dooku's identity, Kenobi sends back message to the Republic confirming the Pirates have him and to send the agreed ransom.

The Weequay Pirates are a drunken disreputable bunch. To celebrate the deal, they invite the Jedi to a drink in the tavern. For some strange reason, maybe to keep things running smoothly, they agree. Suspecting their drinks have been drugged however, they each quickly swap them with the Pirate either side of them. The drinks were indeed drugged as suspected. The Pirates are scheming something.

But, for now, all looks well. The Republic finally looks like they have Count Dooku. Could this be an important turning point in the Clone Wars?

Star Wars Creatures: Roggwart

The Roggwart is a fierce non-sentient creature that first showed in The Clone Wars: Season 1 - Episode 10, The Lair of General Grievous.

The one that was Grievous' pet was called Gor. This guardian creature was additionally fitted with Battle armour which made it very formidable indeed.

Just by looking at the beasts long arms and huge claws, it looks as if the Roggwarts would be able to overpower any Rancor with ease. Roughly the same height at over 3 metres, they also have very sharp and plentiful teeth to incapacitate their prey. An agile and powerful tail can also be used with deadly efficiency if required as could its curved head horns.

The Roggwart creatures originate from the planet Vendaxa in the Vendaxa system. The world consists mainly of jungles, plain and oceans. It has a very harsh ecosystem which has given rise to a number of nightmare creatures besides the terrible Roggwart. Acklays are also from this region.

Clone Wars: Season 1 - Episode 10, The Lair of General Grievous

The Clone Wars: Season 1 - Episode 1, The Lair of Grievous introduces us to Jedi Master Kit Fisto and his former Mon Calamari Padawan, Nahdah Vebb. The episode has the Moral, "Most powerful is he who controls his own power".

Vice Gunray escapes! En route to stand trial for war crimes, evil Separatist leader, Nute Gunray has broken free of his Jedi escort. With the help of Count Dooku's sinister agents, the villainous viceroy has made a daring getaway. Alerted to the prison break, Jedi Master Kit Fisto has traced the stolen ship to a remote system, hoping to recapture Gunray and return him to justice.

Kit Fisto tracks the homing beacon of the stolen Republic ship to the Vassek system. He lands his ship on the Vassek planet. His astromech R6h5 remains aboard in his station while Fisto rendezvous with his former young Padawan, Nahdar Vebb and a party of Clone Troopers.

Fisto, Nahdar and the Clones follow the beacon signal on the dusty rock planet. They come up to a sealed entrance gate in the rock. Fisto finds a secret panel to push and the entrance-way obligingly opens. The party venture inside. The stone structure is badly lit and has a very eerie feel to it. It looks deserted, but Fisto senses there is something there.

They hear the Viceroy Nute Gunray's voice! Nahdar and Fisto calmly walk into a chamber. There are several battledroids and a chair with its back facing them. Gunray is presumably in it. Rapidly and with much aggression, Nahdar takes out all the droids with his lightsabre. Fisto frowns, "Those who have power should restrain themselves from using it," he tells the young Mon Calamari.

On turning the chair, Gunray is not there! Just a Hologram of his image! "I welcome you to your doom!" he laughs. The tracking beacon of the stolen ship has been used to lure them into a trap!

The Holo image changes to that of Count Dooku, "While the viceroy is unavailable for capture, let me offer you an alternative prize". A trap has been set and the Jedi believe they are the bait... but to what? All becomes quickly apparent. While searching the building, the party pass a shrine to a form of warrior. "This is the Lair of General Grievous!" says Fisto to the others.

Meanwhile Grievous is in his personal ship heading for the planet. He is unaware that the Jedi are there. He receives a Holo-transmission from Dooku who informs him that he is under performing and he expects more dead Jedi.

The Clones on the outside of the building communicate to Fisto that General Grievous' ship is coming in. Nahdar Vebb comments, "Capturing Grievous will turn the tide of the war."

Grievous arrives at a very quiet looking base. He wonders where all his droids are and calls out to Gor, his pet. Oddly, nobody is around. Jumping from the shadows, the Jedi take him completely by surprise. A lightsabre fight breaks out, but Grievous is halted, when the clones hit both of his legs with tow cables holding him in place. As the cyborg struggles, Fisto cuts both his mechanical legs off. Damaged, Grievous somehow breaks free and tries to crawl away, moving now a lot like a spider. He kills one of the Clone Troops then flees further into the base using handholds in the ceiling to aid his escape.

Grievous makes his way to the Lair's medical centre and a EV series Doctor droid. The doctor reveals that his Bodyguard Magna Droids were deactivated for recharge, he presumed that Grievous had done it. The General reactivates the Magnas and instructs them to secure the perimeter. He also locks all the doors preventing any quick exit.

One of the Clones with the Jedi sends out a message to his comrades outside, "Contact the fleet at Bestine. We've engaged Grievous and require reinforcements". A Magna Guard fires a powerful pulse cannon destroying the ship. Reinforcements will now be never sent.

Patrolling the perimeter, Magna Guards also close in on Kit Fisto's personal fighter. Fisto orders R6 to take off. He does so, but has to pull off some acrobatic moves to shift a lone Magna who has managed to cling on.

The Jedi are confronted by a Holo image of Grievous, "Welcome to my Lair," he says, "It has been prepared for uninvited guests... like you!"

The trap door in the floor falls away and they all fall through heading towards a deadly furnace. Resourcefully, they manage to pull themselves out, but another Clone is killed. Now it is down to just the two Jedi and a single clone.

There is no time to recover. Grievous' hideous pet, Gor, makes a dramatic entrance. An big ugly looking monster. It is a Roggwart, a beast with sharp teeth and a powerful tail, it makes a rancor look like a pussy cat!

It is a big struggle, but Gor is eventually slain. The last Clone has been unfortunately killed. Nahdar severs the beast's tail and Fisto delivers the final killing blow. The young Nahdar Vebb is very angry at the Clones deaths and is determined to make Grievous pay for what he has done. He seems to be having a battle of conscience. Kit Fisto reminds him, "Revenge is not the Jedi way". This echoes back to the moral of the episode, "Most powerful is he who controls his own power".

During the fight, Grievous has been repaired by the EV droid. He them receives an incoming message from Count Dooku and learns the whole affair has been one big set up. Dooku purposely led the Jedi to his Lair and also deactivated his personal Guard. The Count just wants Grievous to prove his worthiness. Grievous cuts off the transmission in disgust, he wants the Jedi dead!

The Jedi are hiding and see Grievous exit the control room. They sneak in, but are observed by the EV Medical Droid who swiftly raises the alarm. Nahdar is still hell bent on destroying Grievous. So strong in fact that it clouds his judgement. As the Control room door rapidly closes he is separated from Kit Fisto and alone.

Three Magna Guards immediately move in to attack Nahdar. Grievous taunts from the sidelines and once the Magnas are eventually defeated, takes over the battle himself.

"You can't defeat us all," says Nahdar defiantly. "Of course I can," Grievous confidently retorts. Fisto takes out the EV droid in the control room, but looks on helpless as Grievous kills Nahdar with a blaster while blocking his thrust with duel lightsabers. His many arms gave him a massive advantage against a newly qualified Jedi Knight.

Grievous looks up to the monitor screen which Kit Fisto is watching, "I will kill you all! Do you hear me Jedi!". Fisto decides its time to leave and arranges to regroup with R6 and his ship at the South Landing Bay. Grievous is planning to stop him.

As he waits at the South Landing Bay, Grievous makes a dramatic appearance with all four lightsabres whirling round at high speed. The pair do battle and are joined by three Magna Guards. Surrounded, it looks like Fisto is defeated when R6 makes a very late, but welcome appearance. The Jedi Master gracefully backflips onto to it and the ship speeds away.

Count Dooku is dismissive of Grievous' performance and just comments there is room for improvement, much to the cyborg's annoyance.

Back on Coruscant at the Jedi Temple, on hearing of the Padawan's death, Master Yoda has the episodes final wise words, "In this war, a danger there is, of losing who we are."

Comedy: Stars Wars explained for those who have never seen it...

If you've never seen of heard of Star Wars, then I don't know quite how you've managed it. That's some achievement! Perhaps you live on the Moon or deep underground or something. But if you are in this category and want to catch up, then do not fear. This YouTube Vid, I'm sure, will explain everything!

Oh, maybe I should mention, the person explaining the storyline hasn't seen any of the movies either. :op



Hooray! See, now you know what you've been missing out on all this time. Beam me up Scotty or whatever!

Clone Wars: Season 1 - Episode 9, Cloak of Darkness

The Clone Wars: Season 1, Episode 9, Cloak of Darkness introduces us to Jedi Master Luminara Unduli and contains a lot of lightsabre duels. The Moral of the episode is "Ignore your instincts at your peril."

Vice Gunray captured! Senator Padme Amidala has scored a victory against the Separatist Alliance on the remote world of Rodia, securing the arrest of the diabolical Confederate leader, Nute Gunray. The Jedi Council has dispatched Master Luminara Unduli and Anakin Skywalker's Padawan, Ahsoka, to escort the Viceroy to Coruscant under heavy guard. Once there, he will face trial for his many war crimes.

The captured Gunray attempts to bribe the Clones to aid his escape, but they are loyal and not at all interested. The Viceroy is taken to a holding cell in the detention block of the Republic Warship on route to Coruscant. Master Luminari warns the young Ahsoka not to underestimate Gunray and his resourceful allies.

Meanwhile, the Emperor to be is concerned of Nute Gunray's capture and the sensitive information the Jedi may extract from him. Over Holo-transmission he is told by Count Dooku, that he plans to send his apprentice, Asajj Ventress to infiltrate the ship to either free Gunray or silence him.

Aboard the Republic Warship, Nute Gunray is questioned by Master Luminara. Gunray is not immediately forthcoming with his answers and completely losing control, Ahsoka flies in threatening the Neimoidian with her green lightsabre. Shocked, Luminara pulls her away. "Terror is not a weapon that the Jedi use". You can tell Ahsoka is Anakin's Padawan... she is developing the same worrying traits that he himself has.

Suddenly the ship comes under attack from Droid fighters. Droch-Class Boarding Ships land in and cut through the hull. Super Battledroids drop into the ship and immediately engage the Clones in a laser fight. Master Luminara rushes to help and instructs Ahsoka to stay behind and safely guard Gunray.

As the droids drive the Clones back into the ship, Dooku's apprentice drops into the now quiet area unchallenged. A fallen Clone trooper tries to get out a warning message, but is rapidly decapitated with double lightsabres before getting the chance!

As Luminara takes out the troublesome Super Battledroids, Ventress is making her way to the power core of the ship through the ventilation ducts. Reaching the core, she stealthily evades the attention of a look-out droid to plant Detonation charges around the area.

Ventress is fast. She cuts through a floor panel and drops into the detention block where Nute Gunray is being held and where Ahsoka and some Clones are standing guard. Ahsoka duels Ventress in the first lightsabre fight of the episode. Luminara senses the danger and makes her way to aid the Padawan. Gunray makes himself known, and during her fight with Ahsoka, Ventress releases the Viceroy from his prison. She parries one of the Padawan's thrusts, expertly twists, kicks her into the cell, and seals her inside. Nute Gunray is unable to conceal his amusement.

Master Luminara rushes into the Detention block. Using the force she releases Ahsoka from the cell. Now the fight is Ventress verses both Ahsoka and Luminara. Luminara orders the Apprentice's surrender. This seems to have the desired effect. Ventress deactivates both her weapons and raises her hands aloft. Then the Detonators go off that she'd previously placed at the core! Explosions rock the ship and in the moment of confusion, Ventress jumps over Luminara and runs away. The entire ship has been crippled.

The Jedi, Commandoes and Clones have Gunray for now. Ventress is still on the ship and is determined to complete her mission in order to be judged worthy of being Count Dooku's apprentice. Luminara goes after Ventress alone. She gives implicit instructions for Ahsoka to stay guarding the Viceroy.

Ahsoka is not sure about leaving Luminara to tackle Ventress on her own. She has already seen first hand what she can do. We are brought back to the Moral of the show here, "Ignore your instincts at your peril". Ahsoka discusses the dilemma with the surrounding Clones and Commandoes. Each seem to have their different opinion. Gunray honestly says, "All I know is, I never risk my own skin unless I have to". This finally makes Ahsoka's mind up. She leaves to help the Jedi Master. The Clones and Commandoes are adequate forces to guard Gunray.

They exchange a long lightsabre battle around the inactive ship's power-core, but Ventress is gradually getting the better of Jedi Master Luminara. She kicks the Jedi off a platform and she tumbles downwards, hitting the deck below. She is just about to deliver the killing blow when Ahsoka arrives and force pushes her a distance away.

Ventress briefly engages the pair again before force jumping high up to the platform above. She sends a electronic signal to one of the Commandoes guarding the Viceroy. He is a Spy! Ventress' sole purpose was to lure the Jedi away so Nute Gunray could be more easily rescued!

The Spy Commando, Argyus, shoots another of the guards, frees Gunray and immediately uses him has a human shield. Clearly its not overly important if Count Dooku receives him alive or dead... although alive is probably preferable. There is a very brief struggle with a remaining Clone Trooper, but Argyus and Gunray make it to the escape ship and depart unchallenged through the Docking bay. Ventress escapes the Republic Warship in an Escape Pod and joins them aboard.

The Commando never receives his big pay off from Dooku for his treachery against the Republic. Asajj Ventress spears one of her lightsabres right through him. "I always had a good feeling about you," Gunray comments.

The episode ends with Master Yoda summing up the days miserable events, "Troublesome is the treachery of the Republic Guard Argyus. All around us our enemies are."

Star Wars Creatures: Kwazel Maw

The Kwazel Maw is a non-sentient swamp slug that lives in the waters of Rodia.

Its skin has attractive blue and green bio luminescent markings and is even immune to a large number of laser blasts. Despite its toughness, the creature seems quite friendly... to the right person. Jar Jar Binks was able to befriend one in the Clone Wars: Season 1 - Episode 8, Bombad Jedi.

Kwazel Maw have two large eyes, but mainly use their antennae to search for food. Similar to the much drabber swamp slugs of Dagobah, Kwazel Maws can live up to 100 years.

Jar Jar named the one that helped him defeat Nute Gunray and his Battledroids as "Boogie".

Clone Wars: Season 1 - Episode 8, Bombad Jedi

Clone Wars, Season 1, Episode 8, Bombad Jedi is set on the planet Rodia and sees the first of Nute Gunray and Jar Jar Binks in the cartoon saga. The Moral of the episode is, "Heroes are made by the times". The Heroes in this case turn out to be Binks and C3PO!

The Clone Wars threatens the unity of the Republic! As battle rages across the galaxy, more worlds succumb to the seductive lure of the Separatists and leave the Republic. On a vital mission of peace, Senator Padme Amidala journeys to the Outer Rim world of Rodia, desperate to ensure its loyalty remains to the Republic.

Padme lands her personal ship on Rodia preparing for the talks. Jar Jar Binks and the protocol droid, C3PO are also with her. Rodia is a swamp planet, a bit like Naboo, Binks comments. As she departs, Padme instructs both C3PO and Jar Jar to remain aboard the ship. It's rather odd that she brought them along in the first place, if they were going to perform no needed task. It's a good job she did though!

Amidala meets with Rodian Senator, Onaconda Farr. They've been friends since Padme was a little girl and Farr was a strong supporter of her father in the Senate. But, Onaconda is now dismissive and even angry with the Republic. His planet has suffered many hardships and his people are lacking basic supplies. He has felt ignored by the Republic and has already done a deal with Nute Gunray, leader of the Separatists!

It's a trap! Farr has arranged to swap Padme for the badly needed supplies and the Separatist's protection. "I'm sorry my sweet," he says, "I had no choice". Padme is quickly surrounded by Battledroids who were waiting for her planned arrival.

Battledroids storm the Landing Bay where Padme's ship is stationed with C3PO and Jar Jar Binks beside it. The pair fail to get back on board in time and Binks flees leaving C3PO helpless on his back. In any battle, you should not be anywhere near the creature of Jar Jar. It's a very dangerous, unpredictable place to frequent. In running, Binks' leg gets caught on a wire causing a large circular Electro-Magnet to descend. It activates, snapping up 3PO, then ascends again. Wildly trying to help his friend, the Gungan madly pulls levers and the heavy magnet swings into the attacking Battledroids converting them to instant scrap metal.

A large crab droid enters. This is more than C3PO can take, who screams out a string of unhelpful instructions. C3PO and Jar Jar Binks could never be described as a dynamic duo! More by accident, Binks flips on top of the Crab. In trying to remove him, the droid is disorientated, then falls out the raised Landing Bay into the swamps below. Jar Jar of course survives... this character is seemingly laser-proof.

Happy at their victory, Jar Jar leans back on the levers he used earlier, turning off the Electro-Magnet. C3PO plummets to the ground, Ouch! Some more tampering and the Gungan manages to completely wreck Padme ship. "Well, that's the end of our ship," 3PO comments dryly, "Typical".

Depsite their original instruction, Jar Jar Binks and C3PO leave the ship on a rescue mission. It is unclear just how succesful these unlikely two will be. Binks dons a disguise which consists of a brown Jedi like robe. This has got to be just the worst plan ever.

Vice Gunray arrives at the planet to pick up the prize of Senator Padme Amidala. Watched by Binks and C3PO, they are quite quickly spotted with Binks being somehow mistaken for a Jedi. Bink escapes through some grating to the swamp waters below while the gold protocol droid is escorted away.

Underwater, Jar Jar encounters an odd looking monster called a Kwazel Maw. It is a large serpant type creature. It seems big, but unthreatening. The Gungan resurfaces as Onaconda Farr leads Nute Gunray and his droids away.

Senator Onaconda starts to have serious doubts whether he has done the right thing joining the Separatists. Padme is chained up against his wishes and is due for execution. Nute Gunray has not provided the supplies they badly need and it is a little doubtful whether he ever will. Gunray just wants Padme eliminated.

Before Gunray reaches the high tower Padme is being held captive in, she manages to break her bonds, trick the droids, and escape. She runs into C3PO and blasts the two Battledroids escorting him. Padme orders the Protocol droid to find a Communication Terminal and send out a distress signal to any nearby Republic ships. Jar Jar Binks is scaling the tower hellbent on continuing his heroic rescue mission unaware that the Senator has already escaped.

Nute Gunray finally arrives at the holding point to be told of Padme's escape. Bink turns up over the wall at exactly the same time on his Rescue mission. "It's the Jedi!" a droid shouts. They all start firing and Binks falls backward, Yo-Yoing on a vine wrapped round one leg. Saved again! The Gungan sure is lucky! At the base of the Tower, Padme provides covering fire whilst Jar Jar again escapes through the grating to the swamp waters. Super Battledroids throw explosives into the waters in an attempt to blast him out. The odd beast Jar Jar had encountered earlier, saves him by protecting him in his mouth as the bombs explode. He then releases him unharmed.

Against such overwhelming numbers, C3PO and Padme are eventually cornered. This looks like the end... but you strongly suspect it may not be. A row of Droidekas are poised ready to execute them. Gunray gives the order, "Ready... aim...

Binks and the Kwazel Maw save the day. The huge beast jumps out the waters and totally devastates all of Gunray's forces. To say he's surprised is somewhat of an understatement. The creature then pushes Gunray's ship off the high Landing Bay, over the edge and into the swamps below. Nute won't be leaving the planet any time soon. Jar Jar comments of the beast, "I made a very good friend!". Yes... you could say that. :op

Rodian Senator Onaconda realises he has made a terrible mistake and places Nute Gunray under arrest. The arrival of several Republic Warships responding to C3PO's previously sent distress signal seal Nute's fate. Seemingly he will now spend the rest of the war in a prison cell. Onaconda pledges his Planet's allegiance to The Republic.

The episode ends with a Holo-transmission from Chancellor Palpatine who arranges to send Rodia the much needed supplies it needs. The Capture of Gunray is a major victory for the Republic, he declares.

I don't know... I think Palpatine may be up to something... maybe. :o)

Comedy: There must have been a Death Star Canteen...

This is a real gem currently on YouTube.

What do you get when you combine the Comedian Eddie Izzard, Lego Animation and Star Wars? Well this really...



If you're a Storm Trooper based on the Death Star and it's time for your lunch then make sure you've got a tray. You'll need a tray.

Pure genius! :op

Clone Wars: Season 1 - Episode 7, Duel of the Droids

The Clone Wars: Season 1, Episode 7, Duel of the Droids continues directly from the events of Episode 6, Downfall of a Droid. The Moral of the episode is, "You hold onto friends by keeping your heart a little softer than your head."

Missing in action, Anakin Skywalker's heroic droid navigator, R2D2, was lost in battle. When a desperate search fails to locate R2, Anakin is force to take on a new navigator, R3S6. Now the Jedi must embark on a dangerous new mission to find a secret enemy listening post. Meanwhile R2D2 has fallen into the hands of a vile droid smuggler and is on his way to General Grievous who will surely plunder the Republic's secrets hidden with him.

As the Trandoshan smuggler moves in to dock with Grievous's station, the captured R2D2 manages to hack into the ship's systems and send out a message to the Jedi. Despite more hindrance from the troublesome droid R3, Anakin receives it and is confident that the signal has come from R2. Captain Rex immediately manages to trace its location and they jump to the coordinates.

The Trandoshan has already boarded the station and under the instruction of Grievous is examining the captured R2 unit for any vital information.

Over Holo-communication, Obi-Wan Kenobi tells Anakin that this is not a rescue mission for R2. The sole purpose of the mission is to destroy the listening station. We have already seen from previous episodes that Anakin is not exactly one for following orders to the letter.

Anakin, Ahsoka, Captain Rex, R3S6 and some Clones infiltrate the station from above with the help of Anakin's lightsaber to find their way inside. As soon as they are comfortable, it becomes quickly apparent that Anakin's primary aim to rescue R2D2. He splits up from the others.

Meanwhile, the Trandoshan smuggler makes an amazing discovery concerning R2. "It appears the droid's memory has never been erased. It contains every Republic foundation and strategy they have!". He suddenly wants more money as now the droid is a lot more valuable than he'd originally thought. Grievous is quick to reward him with a green lightsaber through the torso. The Smuggler is dead.

As Ahsoka and the Clones stealthily make their way through the facility, it is revealed that R3 is working for Grievous. Not surprising, there were enough clues from the previous episode! The droid drops back from the group and sends a holo-communication to Grievous alerting him to their presence. "Delay them until I arrive," he orders. He orders his IG-100 MagnaGuards to take the R2 unit to his ship. He will deal with the Jedi himself. The alarm is sounded.

Ahsoka's team are halted in their tracks by a force-field door. She orders R3 to deactivate the shield, but of course, the contraption is in no particular hurry. As the Battledroids arrive, R3 manages to close an additional blast-door making any escape now extremely difficult. Super Battledroids approach from another corridor and it is only with the use of Electro Magnetic Pulse grenades, (which they refer to as droid poppers) that the group manage to survive.

As R2 is carried onto his ship, General Grievous suddenly arrives at the young Ahsoka's location. He taunts, "They send a child to destroy my station? The Republic must be running out of Jedi!".

Grievous leaps forward taking out a percentage of the clones. He then attacks Ahsoka. There is a brief lightsaber duel, before she realises she is outmatched and is force to make a retreat. Grievous follows.

Anakin catches up with the Magna droids who are carrying R2. "You have something that belongs to me." he says. A fight immediately ensues. From here on in, the episode is full-on action right to the end. Anakin finally takes out the deadly Magnas and is reunited with R2D2 once more.

Ahsoka is hiding from Grievous in what looks to be a store room. R3 turns up and at once gives away her location by shining a torch on her! Previously Ahsoka has instructed the Clones to set the detonation charges and to rendezvous at the Landing Bay. She knows there's a chance she may not make it, but they must complete their mission. Ahsoka has now finally worked out that R3 cannot be trusted.

Anakin and R2 make it safely to the Landing Bay as the Twilight arrives to take them away. Captain Rex, a Clone and R3 also enter, but there is no sign of Ahsoka.

Not happy that Ahsoka has risked challenging Grievous alone, Anakin attempts to rescue her. Before he can even leave the landing bay however, R3S6 closes all the doors including the main launch doors. R3 also activates a squadron of Vulture Droids. As Super Battledroids approach from the opposite end, Anakin realises that R3S6 was a spy all along.

Grievous lifts Ahsoka by the throat clear off the ground. An explosion rocks the station and the Jedi is able to break free and then escape through a vent.

As per previous episodes, when he fears things are not going quite his way, General Grievous decides to escape in his one-man ship. He does so unopposed, the Jedi currently have much bigger things to deal with in the Landing Bay.

In an attempt to open the Launch Bay doors, R2D2 is attacked by R3. Ahsoka enters the growing battle from above, exiting a vent and landing on one of the Vulture Droids.

R2 fends off R3 and manages to open the Launch Bay doors. There are lasers firing everywhere. The Twilight takes off with all aboard apart from Anakin who takes a different ship.

R2D2 sprays the relentless R3 with oil, then ignites him with his jets. Losing balance, R3 then falls off the upper gantry and off the Station completely. Anakin picks his astromech up from outside and they fly away as the Station is destroyed.

The Mission has been completed, but Obi-Wan is dismayed Anakin risked everything in order to save a single droid. Anakin sees the droid as much more.

Clone Wars: Season 1 - Episode 6, Downfall of a Droid

The Clone Wars Season 1 - Episode 6, Downfall of a droid centers around two droids, R2D2 and R3S6. The Moral of the Episode is, "Trust in your friends and they will have reason to trust in you".

After suffering a series of disastrous defeats at the hand of General Grievous, the Republic's foothold in the Outer rim is in jeopardy. Commissioned to protect the strategic world of Bothawui, Anakin Skywalker and his weary battle group are all that stands between the System and domination of the Droid Army.

Grievous is growing more deadly and more successful in each battle against the Republic as time goes on. It seems that the Droid Leader always knows just when and where to attack them to cause maximum damage. Kenobi thinks Anakin should pull out the Bothawui system and take time to regroup. Anakin's Padawan, Ahsoka agrees. Skywalker decides they must stay. He has a plan and is determined the Separatists will not capture the sector.

The Separatist's find Anakin's fleet with relative ease through the Asteroid field of Bothawui and also have supreme fire power. "Lets finish them off!" Grievous shouts. He seems to have a unnatural tactical advantage at every turn.

Grievous is drawn in closer and Anakin's trap suddenly works. The General is attacked from behind by Clone Captain Rex's AT-TEs positioned on one of the asteroids. Grievous is totally outflanked and now vulnerable. Anakin Skywalker has out-maneuvered him. The panicking leader screams, "Get us out of here!".

His Flagship unable to escape the onslaught, Grievous departs rapidly in a Vulture Class Droid Ship. Anakin quickly follows, but his ship sustains damage and the Jedi spins out of control, only to wake up later in a nearby medical centre. Grievous has escaped again. Captain Rex was able to save Anakin from his doomed fighter, but when they return to claim the astromech R2, he is no where to be found.

The finding of R2D2 is of utmost urgency when it transpires the Droid does not have its memory regularly erased. The missing droid contains important Republic Tactics and secret locations of many of their Bases!.

In the meantime, Anakin's replacement astromech is R3S6 which Ahsoka nicknames, Goldie on account of his colouring.

Anakin, Ahsoka and R3 search the asteroid field for any sign of the missing R2D2. They soon come across a Trandoshan Scavenger Ship and suspect that the owner may have taken the droid aboard in order to make a selling profit. They board posing as Droid buyers to be met by a very shady looking Trandoshan. He guides them to a cargo bay of the ship. "I may have an R2 unit," he says, "Have a look, but there are many... unique items down there."

The replacement droid R3 is seeming to be more of a hindrance the further the Jedi progress with their search. In an apparent error, the droid turns on the main power to the cargo bay, first activating the light system and then split-seconds later, two very dangerous IG Class Assassin droids! Ahsoka screams, "Goldie! Shut those droids down!". R3 doesn't seem to hear her.

The IG Assassin droids are brilliant. They leap with ease over the cargo racks, taking great vantage points and shooting their blaster weapons at the Jedi below. They completely ignore R3. It's a very tough battle, but Anakin and Ahsoka eventually win out. Anakin is not impressed. He stares at R3, "You'd make a poor excuse for a light switch!". They leave the Scavenger Ship, the Trandoshan has been no help at all.

The shady Trandoshan dealer immediately contacts General Grievous. He had R2D2 all along contained in a hidden compartment. "I have the merchandise you are looking for."

The Jedi presume Grievous has a secret listening post somewhere that is giving him a huge tactical advantage. Anakin decides to go look for it on his own. His reasoning is one ship raises less suspicion and is harder to spot. Despite his reservations he agrees to let the troublesome R3 come along as his astromech.

Aboard the Trandoshan ship, the captured R2D2 manages to dislodge his restraining bolt and escape his compartment. An alerted IG Assassin droid gives chase, but is tricked into an airlock and jettisoned into space. R2 is a clever droid, but his progress is seemingly halted when the Trandoshan owner finds him.

This is where Anakin's trouble with R3 really begins. Exiting discreetly from Hyperspace, Skywalker orders the droid to perform a sensor sweep of surrounding space. Instead the droid turns on the ship's tracking beacon alerting everyone to his presence. Grievous notices the transmission, "Skywalker! Now you have fallen into my trap!". Wasting not a single second, Grievous ships make a short hyperspace jump and appear right in front of Anakin. "Time to leave," he calmly comments.

As Anakin tries to avoid his attackers, R3 is not making it very easy. The droid seems to be doing the opposite to everything he instructs him. Grievous launches all Vulture Class Fighters to make chase. It seems like overkill for one ship, but somehow, Skywalker still manages to avade them and destroy a flurry of missiles fired at him. "That was clever," a droid says to the annoyance of Grievous. Skywalker's luck appears to be running out however, as R3 causes problems with both the engines and the laser weapons.

Captain Rex and Ahsoka arrive just in time in a boarding craft! Skywalker haphazardly manoeuvre's his ship into the landing bay and they Hyperspace away from danger.

Anakin is not at all impressed with R3S6's performance. "I'm lucky to be alive," he says.

R2D2 is still out there aboard the Trandoshan Scavenger ship.

The story continues in Episode 7 - Duel of the Droids.

Star Wars Ships: Droch Class Boarding Ship / Pod Hunter

The Droch Class Boarding Ships belonged to the Separatists and were first seen in the Clone Wars episode, Rising Malevolence from Season 1.

Also known as Pod Hunters, they were equipped with four large forward facing spikes. These were used to lock on to objects such as Escape Pods and crush them. The atmosphere would vent out the damaged Escape Pods with the unfortunate occupants being blown out into space. Clone Troopers also referred to the Pod Hunters as juicers for this very reason.

The ship was first seen at the Battle of Abregado when used to hunt down the Escape Pods of Plo Koon's Triumphant. The vessel had previous been knocked out by a new Ion Cannon Weapon from The Malevolence.

Each Pod Hunter typically carried around 6 Battledroids who would assist with the damaging of captured craft.

Droch Class Boarding Ships were manufactured by The Colicoid Creation Nest based at Colla IV.

Clone Wars: Season 1 - Episode 5, Rookies

The Clone Wars: Season 1 - episode 5, Rookies is a Clone Trooper episode where we are given an introduction to the typical life of new Clones. The moral of the episode is, "The best confidence builder is experience".

Clone force rally. As the war escalates in the Outer rim, the Jedi Knights are spread thinly across the galaxy. Many new Clones are rushed into service to support their Jedi Generals. Unfortunately due to the relentless demands of battle, many young Clones must join the struggle before their intensive training is completed. These Clones manning a vital network of Traffic Stations are all that stand between the Republic and invasion.

Rookies begins with a group of new clone manning the Rishi Tracking Station along the Outer rim. Things are pretty quiet and it is commented that the job is one of the most boring in that part of space. An "All Clear" signal is permanently sent from the station to Republic space. If that signal is ever turned off, the Jedi would be alerted to an approaching Separatist invasion fleet.

A small meteor shower is tracked as it hits the Rishi Moon. All is not as it seems. These meteors were small ships containing the Separatist's new Commando Droids!

The Commando Droids are large in number and take the Station completely by surprise. A fire fight ensues and the unprepared Clones fare very badly, losing control of the station. The few survivors escape down an exit vent to the Moon outside where one of them is later eaten by a large Eel concealed in the rocky terrain. "That's why we have the regulation never to go outside," one of the Clones calmly communicates.

A Droid contacts General Grievous, "the station is secure."

The Separatists are planning to disable the Republic's Cloning facility on Kamino and the take over of Rishi Station is the first successful step. They reprogram the Station's "All Clear" message so it can not be turned off. The Jedi will never know they are coming.

Not part of the Separatist's calculations however, Clones, Commander Cody and Captain Rex land to make a routine inspection of the Tracking Station. They quickly realise something is not quite right and after being alerted to the Droid takeover another high energy fire fight takes place. Cody's ship is obliterated in a mass explosion, but the pair manage to escape in the Melee over the Landing Pad and down the rocky terrain below. It is here where they meet up with the three surviving clones, Fives, Heavy and Echo.

Cody and Rex call the surviving clones, Shinies on account that their armour is pristine and they have not seen much action. They decide they must retake the base to alert the Jedi.

Posing as a Commando Droid using some of the wreckage found on the battlefield, the Clone group trick their way past the Stations Entry Blast Doors and shoot their way to the Command Centre. Through the view-screen they see the full extent of the Separatist's Invasion Fleet. The penny drops. That's why the Separatists attacked the outpost, they're planning a full-scale invasion.

Grievous, "That base must not be allowed to let the Jedi know we're coming!"

A large Droid ship lands on Rishi and an army of standard Battle-droids depart. An army against just 5 Clones is not good odds. The Clones know they cannot defend the station at such unfavourable numbers so instead decide to destroy it with Liquid Tibanna bombs placed at critical points. This would also stop the vital "All Clear" signal they've been unable to cancel.

It is a brave battle from the Clones as they try to hold off the Battledroids long enough to plant the charges. Overpowered, the Clones escape down the same vent tunnel as before whilst the Clone known as Heavy stays behind to complete the Tibanna detonation. He puts up an amazing last stand as the Droids pile in after him, but manages to complete the work. The Rishi station explodes and the "All Clear" message immediately stops.

His plan now in tatters, General Grievous orders an immediate retreat before he can be outgunned by the approaching Republic and Jedi Fleets.

The Clone survivors are Commander Cody, Captain Rex, and the two Rookies, Fives and Echo. The Rookies have changed from nervous inexperienced soldiers to hardened warriors. They are not Shinies any more. "The best confidence builder is experience."

Star Wars Gangsta Rap! We got Death Star, We got Death Star !

You find all sorts of weird things on YouTube. Some things a bit too weird actually and some things that are just so poor they should never have been uploaded in the first place. What was the uploader thinking? Good grief!

Thankfully the Star Wars Gangster Rap is not one of them. This is pretty good in fact. A good piece of harmless fun. There are a few versions of the Gangster Rap currently available to view in the vaults of YouTube, but this cartoon one is probably one of the cleanest! :op

I don't wish to disappoint you, but the Gungan Jar Jar Binks isn't in any of them... unless I've missed him and in which case, that is probably for the best. A rapping Gungan is something that should never be seen or heard outside the most terrible of Nightmares... and only then on special occasion... one of those occasions that occur once a lifetime if you're unlucky.

This scruffy nerf herder's got to go now, the Empire have discovered my hidden base... again.

Star Wars Ships: The Malevolence

The Malevolence was a huge Separatist warship used in the Clone Wars and was classified as a Subjugator-class Heavy cruiser. The ship featured in the Clone Wars Cartoon Network Trilogy, Rising Malevolence, Shadow of Malevolence and Destroy Malevolence.

For the most part of it's existence, it was Captained by General Grievous.

The Ships main deadly asset were a massive Ion Cannon mounted to each side of the vessel. Once fired, they would produce a giant energy wave draining all other ships of energy caught in its wake.

Due to its large size, it could absorb a lot of damage during any battle which made it very formidable.

Notable Stats

Length: 5000 metres
Engines: 16 Independent engines plus a Hyperdrive system.
Features: Sensor Array, Internal Rail jet system for cargo transport, 2 Tractor beams. Hangar bay containing Vulture-Class Droid Fighters & Droch Class Boarding Ships (Pod Hunters).
Weapons: 2 Large Ion Pulse Cannons, 500 Twin Turbolaser batteries

The Malevolence was destroyed at the Battle of the Kaliida Nebula with more than a little help from Anakin Skywalker. General Grievous was able to escape in a Vulture-Class Droid Fighter.

Clone Wars: Season 1 - Episode 4, Destroy Malevolence

Episode 4, Destroy Malevolence sees the epic conclusion to the Malevolence trilogy in season 1. It has the Moral, "A Plan is only as good as those who see it through." This episode is the first in the Clone Wars saga to see Padme Amidala and also the famous partnership between droids C3P0 and R2D2.

Grievous is in retreat. Before the battleship Malevolence can destroy an Outer rim clone Medical base, a Republic Strike force under the command of Anakin Skywalker, cripple the Warship disabling its dreaded Ion Cannon. Now the Jedi relentlessly pursue the Malevolence.

The episode starts with General Grievous fleeing the battlefield, chased by three Republic Warships. Although crippled, the Malevolence is so big, it sustains all damage the Jedi can inflict upon it. Plo Koon advises they need reinforcements.

All is not lost for the evil Separatists. Count Dooku communicates to Grievous that an important Galactic Senator is heading his way. He adds, "With her as your hostage, they will call off their attack."

The Senator in question is, of course, Padme Amidala piloting her Naboo ship that we have seen in The Phantom Menace. With C3P0 for company, Padme has been tricked by a false trip off from Palpatine. She is expecting to sign a treaty with The Banking Clan, but on exiting Hyperspace finds herself bang in the path of the Malevolence!

"Get out of there as fast as you can!" shouts Anakin. But it's too late. The Malevolence tractors the small ship inside.

Grievous laughs as the Jedi immediately stop firing. "So Predictable," he quips. He orders immediate repair of the hyperdrive.

Very unsurprisingly, Anakin decides to embark on a rescue mission. Kenobi follows.

Plo Koon is dismayed, "I'm afraid Master Skywalker is taking a terrible risk."
"You get used to it," answers Ahsoka. You can see that Anakin is reckless even in these early stages before his ultimate destiny of course to being Darth Vader. Anakin's plan is simple... Just fly there, land and hope they don't spot them. Even Kenobi is a little sceptable about this one.

Before Grievous can reach her in the hangar, Padme self-destructs the ship and goes on the run inside the Malevolence with protocol droid Threepio.

Battle-droids are so busy searching the ship for Padme and carrying out badly needed repairs, they fail to notice Anakin and Obi-wan enter via one of the airlocks. They quickly take out a pair of battle-droids and Anakin locates and rescues Padme. Anakin's plan is to then leave...

"We can't leave yet," says Padme, "I overheard Grievous. Their hyperdrive is almost repaired."

Remember the episode moral? "A Plan is only as good as those who see it through."

Kenobi communicates that he will make sure the hyperdrive stays offline. Grievous is listening in, "We'll see about that Jedi!" and leaves to take care of business.

When Obi-Wan Kenobi reaches the hyperdrive section he finds Droidekas, Battle droids and General Grievous all waiting for him. He is totally surrounded. The Jedi force jumps out of the firing line, force-pushes Droids off the gantry and then again using the force, uses the Droidekas as bowling balls to take out the majority of the remaining droids before escaping on route to Anakin.

"That was impressive," comments a Battle-droid of Kenobi's amazing display. Grievous powerfully slaps the droid away, "I will deal with this Jedi myself!"

Anakin and Padme make it to the Central Command center and take out the droids there. Skywalker has an idea and reprograms the ships navigation computer. The pair then escape to rendezvous with Kenobi and their ship The Twilight

Despite a brief lightsaber conflict with Grievous, Kenobi manages to meet with Padme and Anakin and together along with C3PO and R2D2 they escape the burning Malevolence. Grievous and several other one-man fighter ships make chase in a last ditch effort to destroy them.

As he pursues his target, Grievous orders the partly repaired Malevolence to jump to hyperspace where he will later meet up with them. They try to, but due to Anakin's tinkering with the navigational computer, the Battleship turns and crashes into a nearby moon. The vessel is totally destroyed. Grievous has failed.

General Grievous cuts off a communication from Dooku, "General, we await the Malevolence at the rendezvous point. Have you made your escape yet?"

Clearly he hasn't. Things have gone terribly wrong, their new weapon nullified and the Republic claiming victory. The General hyperspaces away.

Clone Wars: Season 1 - Episode 3, Shadow of Malevolence

Clone Wars, Episode 3 Malevolence is the second part of the Malevolence trilogy. The Moral of the Episode is, "Easy is the Path to wisdom for those not blinded by themselves."

A deadly weapon unleashed. The Separatist's Battleship Malevolence advances unopposed into Republic space tearing apart any ship that stands in its path. After a daring rescue and narrow escape, Anakin Skywalker prepares a counter-attack on the enemy ship and its diabolical Droid Commander, General Grievous.

A strike force is commisioned by the Galactic Senate to hunt down the enemies new powerful battleship. Anakin Skywalker develops a somewhat aggressive plan involving bombers. Anakin is confident and single minded in his thinking while Master Plo Koon has some reservations.

Meanwhile, Count Dooku assigns Grievous and The Malevolence a new target, a secret Republic Medical station based on the Outterrim. It is unprotected and treating over 60,000 wounded clones.

The Jedi learn of the Malevolence's target, but it is not possible to evacuate all the occupants in the limited time. Anakin's strike force immediately launch, determined to get to the Medical Station before Grievous. Their path is a very dangerous one. To catch the Separatist battleship, they must take a short-cut through a notorious smugglers path through a gas nebulae. Despite encountering a number of large gas creatures, the Strike force make it through with limited damage.

Over Holotransmission, Dooku alerts Grievous a small strike force has been launched to attack them. He adds, "Skywalker is leading the mission. Do not underestimate him.". Grievous does not seem too concerned, he is confident in the Ships mighty Ion weapon.

The Republic Medical station is in sight. Both The Malevolence and Anakin's strike force arrive at roughly the same time. A Battle is very imminent !

"I want every single ship destroyed!" screams Grievous and immediately fires the Ion Cannon.

Unwavering from his original plan, Anakin orders his squadron into a steep climb in order to clear the enormous blast wave from the weapon. Two of his squadron are destroyed and some others left without power failing to complete the maneuver.

The battle is in full motion. Blasts exchanged every milli-second. Whilst Anakin can pull off the complicated moves, with the exception of Plo Koon, his squadron are unable to keep up this level of intensity. Acting as his rear-gunner, Padawan Ahsoka warns him of this. Anakin is still unwavering.

General Grievous prepares the Ion Cannon for another devastating blast.

Plo Koon communicates, "If we can do enough damage, the weapon may overload when Grievous tries to fire."

Finally Anakin sees the logic and is broken free of his single minded plan. We are reminded of the episode's moral, "Easy is the Path to wisdom for those not blinded by themselves".

The Ion Cannon is taken out of action with a volley of accurate torpedoes and it explodes causing massive damage to The Malevolences systems. The Separatist's have lost both primary weapons and the hyperdrive is disabled.

The ship in flames, General Grievous orders a full retreat back to Separatist space.